Race # 6 - The Fear of Falling
I wasn’t going to race tonight. I asked myself, “Why?” and it occurred to me that I didn’t want to crash again. But I figured, “Enough. The only way to conquer your fear is to greet it head on.” Hello. It’s much like when I first rock climbed, I thought I was afraid of heights; but I was actually afraid of falling. So I tried to climb the biggest rock wall at the gym, felt what it’s like to fall; then proceeded to keep climbing. It took me a couple times with my heart racing, lots of sweat, lots of encouragement from my friends and I made to the top.
I raced tonight keeping a watchful eye on fear; I rode conservatively. For awhile. Then things got fast. As it was, when it came to do the job, the harder I pushed the slower I got as if I someone was intentionally feathering my brakes whenever I tried to go. That’s what it feels like when one’s conditioning and fitness is not up to par. I know this isn’t supposed to be easy, but come on. Tonight’s field was strong; lots of fast riders, really fast guys coming in and I anticipate it getting worse in the next few weeks.
Fishmel had to agree. He had legs to try to bridge to a breakaway rider around the final turns, but couldn’t hold on. The pack ate him alive. I didn’t fare even that well, holding on for dear life at the back of the pack. Then they spit me out like a rocket. I chased solo at 25 mph on that back straightaway, caught up and passed a couple guys on the final. I wanted so bad for another top ten, but watched that dissolve in slow motion in front of my eyes.
So I will train knowingly. I will race knowingly. And not be afraid to fall.
Stats: 13.57 Miles, Max 32.7 mph, Ave 23.1 mpg, Max 189 bpm, Ave 167 bpm
April 26th, 2006 at 9:31 pm
I just have one question . . . how did you achieve ‘Ave 23.1 mpg’ gallon of what? Coffee? Zip Fizz? Pure H2O? Don’t you love when spell checkers miss the obvious. Good work my friend and keep it up!!!